Advice, I just want to end this.?

Please do not end your life. I have extreme perfectionist tendencies as well, and I agree that these can be difficult to deal with. Ending your life will not fix your problems. If you can keep going, eventually you will be able to move past this. There is hope! When you move past this problem, you will feel so good about yourself and I promise you it will be worth it. Your obsessions are not retarded; They are a part of who you are. They may not be something you like about yourself, but it is something you can work with. Please consider what your friends and family would feel if you were no longer with them. There is always hope, and always something to live for. God has a greater purpose for your life, and if you kill yourself you will not be able to fulfill his awesome plans.